


White Queen ( English version )

by DeloraMercel



Category: The 5th Wave Series - Rick Yancey
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2018-11-13 19:18:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11191674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeloraMercel/pseuds/DeloraMercel
Summary: Most part of human kind was devoured in the continual attacks. The sole survivors decided to flee so they became the playtoy of invaders. And what about the outcast, who'd been condemned to loneliness before the arrival of the invaders. They are the ones, who fuelled by their solitude, chose to survive. ”The greatest illusion of the devil is to persuade the world: it does not exist”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [White Queen](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8111869) by [DeloraMercel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeloraMercel/pseuds/DeloraMercel). 



”Not the strongest will remain alive, nor the smartest, rather the most adaptable for changes.”

I could barely survive our splitting, even though it was not even a real relationship. I fell in love with Mr. Psycho commander, just like a stupid girl. It did not even matter to me that he was not fully human. I was disgusted by myself, since I turned away from my kind, I closed my eyes, enjoyed the kindness and the spotlight.

He never loved you…-told me the inner voice. He killed his own family and you would have been the next- continued the inner voice as I collapsed.

I am unstoppably crying and least interesed in who can se eme. _I am waiting for the killers to come and do their job. Let it end._

I don’t remember how long I huddled up under the tree, but nor the silencers or the will of God reached me, but the shivering cold. I had to go on, so I was walking silently int he fresh snow. I could jsut stare in front of me and hit the road, without any idea about where to go. I only wanted to get away from the pain.

_Human kind is so flexible. We survived so many disasters to let our feelings kill us._

My fosterers’ words occured to me, when she was in leaving, she said to me: ”Never let anyone too close to you. They will only use you and destroy you. Never trust humans.”

That was the last time I saw her, but her words still lingered around me. I never trusted anyone and I build walls around me. But there was one thing that nobody warned me about that there are some feelings, which we cannot control.

I spotted the sighs of a city or at least what is left of it, far away. I did not really wish to spend time there, unluckily it started to grow dark and I needed to get hold of some food. When I put self-pity away, I realized that I was in deep fear.

The city was extinct, but not empty. I am sure that some of them were there, They or my wildened relatives. Becaouse of the outcome, it does not matter who finishes me off.

I didn’t like my new insecure self. I have alwys been brave and self-dependent, since there was no one to take care of me. I couldn’t confess myself that I really missed conceniece and safety. Camp Haven was not a luxurious hotel, neither the following camp. A I adapted the new routine, I didn’treally care about the future.

I carried out my tasks and they let me live. If I want to be true, I had an assumption that they are not really who they claim thenmselves.

Soldiers, saviours, of course this is what they tell those who come from prison. Ont he other hand, I spent some years ont he institute and I learnt to shut my mouth and not to ’see’ thins. If you don’t make trouble, they won’t spot you. You assimilate.

And it really worked for some weeks.

_How stupid are you Hailey Anne!_ I was very angy at myself and I was crawling between the buildings and it was only the edge of the city. I didn’t dare to approach it more than that, at least not at night. Having a dinner was hopeless, it occured to me, although y stomack roamed angrily, but I couldn’t bear the risk. My only hope was that I can findsome water somewhere. There was no electricity, nothing worked at all but the pipped could store some water.

I picked a flat randomly and I entered. I couched to the wall and I could barely take a brath. I constantly kept my eye at the end of the darker side of the corridor, then the stairs. Where _would I go if I were Vosch?_ \- I wondered. This was sheer stupidity again. Vosch would not even set a foot here, rahter he would bloew up the whole building. But I’m just a cocroack and cocroaches are hiding int he dark. Finally, I decided to head upstairs. I figured it out that in case I need to flee, I can use the fire escape.

I constantly crawled newt to the wall and I went motionless for the tiniest noise, the creeking sound of the floor made ma a statue.

I finally calmed down a bit, when I shut the door of a tiny apartment behind me. Of course, I took a great look around, buti t had been empty for long time. There were no corpses or blood stained furniture. The residents might have fled arway before the party really started.

Anyway, it was fit for me for the night. I could even find some bottles of water and some cans, which was far more than I had hoped for.I hid in the little corner of a room and bundled myself into two blankets, but I was shivering. I didn’t want to use th ebed, since I felt myself too vulnerable there.

If I can survive the night, I can give chance to myself for survival. I was terribly tired, but I couldn’t find solace. At first I coulnd’t figure out what the problem was- apart from the fact that I can only become a paschal lamb for anyone.

As the light was dieing out, my mind started to feel numb. But one thought didn’t let go off my mind. The wirst thing was not the fear or the feeling of being exposed to anyone’s cruelty, but the feeling of loneliness. Again.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up for the shivering cold and my clearly visible breath. I didn’t have the faintest idea about why and how, then I realized that i became single.

From now on I need to manage myself, woithout the watching eyes of the big brother. Ads I survived the nigt, I planned to take a look around the city.

Right now, I only had a pocket bowie-knife in my pocket and I felt myself horribly vulnerable. Food didn’t matter me so much, the can was enough for good. Of course my stomach was crap and I couldn’t eat a bit now.

The sun was shining brightly, but I had not the faintest idea if it was useful for me orit spoils my chances for survival. Anyway, I need to carry on.

Emptyness and stink everywehere. The cold preserved the dead bodies and he fire finally went away. The snow was crunching under my feet, but I couldn’t let go off the feeling that somebody is after me. The only question was- friend or foe? At this point I almost laughed at myself, since I had only enemies left in this world.

My sole friend was dead and Alexander was worse than the devil itself.

No. There was only me and my stupid thoughts.

After walking rapidly for 30 minutes, I got used to the stinky odour of the city. The corpses couldn’t bother me either. They were lieing wherever the faith reached upon them and luckily they were not tempted by waking up, just like int he zombie movies. It bothered me more that there was more and more from the city.

Death is everywhere. The shops were left burglered and broken. How am I supposed to survive like this?

It started to snow again and the wind was blowing int he wildest way. I didn’t want to spend the night outside and I have gone too far to return to my hide-away.

Winter showed its cruel face for the first time and Alexander withdrawed his troops. There were no schoolbuses and patrols around, because everyone wanted to get through the winter. The majority of those who left outside just don’t make it till spring.

And I was one of them…

It was a dangerous territory in real life and in my soul as well. If I don’t pay attention, I get killed. If I don’t finish hurting myself, my own inner vioce is going to rip me apart.

_I am not going to die. I am going to survive at all cost. The epidemic couldn’t put me down, Camp Haven couldn’t put me down either and nor Wonderland. I did survive anything, that can kill anyone else. I am not going to give up now. I am going to win against to myself._

”Overtaking ourselves is the most real and solely perfect win.”

It managed to give me back my strength and I got myself together finally. I didn’t care to check what city I am in and as I could finally lett he slum behind me, I was happy. As I reached the downtown there are more empty building in my way, from the tiniest to the skycraper types as well. Load of broken cars and malls.

_Malls…well well, maybe it is time to take the chance to take a look around there._ More shops, more chances. Of course, the amount of risk grew with the chances.The thoundands of squaremeters hunting territory was not only tempting me, since the stocks were endless there. Nobody could turn down such a great opportunity.

I had to take the chance.

I carefully entered the mall, where everything was covered with shards and the marks of distruction. There was only that much light it could come in from outside. I did not count with this problem. I am so used to the convenience of the base camp that I forgot about the nonexistence of infrustructure ont he other side of the wall.

I managed to create a shopping list, only from the most necessary things. First, I need a sack that I can pack, then a new outfit, since this military design is pretty unexplainable…okay, it’s not like I want to make friends or something.

_Assimilate and keep low- this is going to be my new motto._

I needed to maintain higenie to some extent and flashlamp, matches and other craps that can keep me warm or gives light. And of course, water. Food was the last thing in my list, becouse I can manage to keep on going witouth food for a week, but water...I don’t survive two days without it.

And of cours,e the gun. It was only a wild idea, since I couldn’t get hold of guns in every corner. Not even now. Right after the alien apocalypse, gun stures were robbed out and nothing is left, but I try to keep my eyes open.

So far, I was lucky as nobody attacked me int he city. The mall was empty as well and I finally found th ebest shop for me. Hiking gadgets from beginners to experts. Okay, there was also some shortage from the stocks and I had to be very careful about the shards and the clothes scattered around, but I could manage.

I knew I will spend some time here, so I drank some water from my very short stock. Then I could start my search. I cannot afford to be picky this time. Due to the discount, the stock was low, but I could find some hiking shoes for myself and a matching coat and trousers. The waterproof type- I read it quickly ont he clothings. _If it would be bulletproof that would come handy._

Instead of being grumpy, I started to dress up for the situation. It was very weird feeling to wear civil clothes, but letting go of the boots was nice. The hiking shoes were so much friendlier, more comfortable and lighter, which was a very useful feature when someone is being hunted. I had no doubt that I will be hunted again.

Finally I found some scarp, a cap and other gadgets. This shop was amazing and it shortened my lista s well, although I has some major issues still.

I kept going in, to that part, where there was only half-light. I was very terrified from these places. If anyone else was here int he building, I made myself a great target here.

I feared from every step, ’couse I was sensing enemy in every corner. I didn’t want to get into a concrede maze, but I had to. I needed to take the risk.

At last I picked a Wallmart, which was almost totally empty. People took everything that was virtually removable, but I could find some chocolate ont he shelves. But water…was nowhere.

_And what if I checked it behind?_ I had this brave idea and I aimed for the storage. At first I sensed the odour of death and then I spotted the bloodstain ont he floor and…the dead body.

It must have been long time, since the corpse was not int he best conditions. He did not really raised my attention, but the supply he had…he must have hideen  here, but he could not hide from plague. I knew that I should feel pity for him, but his death raised my chances of survival. I checked everything for several times, but the water cans were unharmed. 5 bottles of water, which last for 10 days if I can share it properly…and also some canned fruit. This was ways too little to survive ont he long run, but I was at least happy about it. And most importantly, I was still alive.

I packed everything in my sack and I was about to leave, when it occured to me that in Wallmart I can find anything…or at least I could before the attacks. Maybe I get lucky and I can cross out some items from the list.

I found some matches, that was already one thick. Sterilizer pad, handkerchief and liquid sterilizer. Finally, it is worth counting with the fact that I was born as a woman, which comes with some kind of…problems. I could handle this monthly problem as well. I was about to reach out for the little blue box (and there was quite a lot left), when I spotted something interesting…several types of tests. Pregnany tests.

Then I started to count back… _When was the last time that I needed tampon?_ I was just not capable to remember. Every day was the same int he base and time lost its sense. _When was the last time that I got an injection? More than two months ago. It happened in Camp Haven, but after that…Why am I so absent-minded?_ You had nausea int he morning and some other symtoms when you were at the base- I made myself remember. 

_No way. It cannot be true. This is impossible._ I do not dare to say it out loud, becouse it could make it more real.

I had no objection against injection.

\- This is not the world I would like to bear a child to- as I expressed itt o Alexander. He had no word against this.

I had to make sure of it. I took three types of tests from the shelf and went back to another row, where plastic cutleries and cups were stored.

It was not the th ebest solution, but anything is acceptable in emergency situation- I agreed with myself.

I unpacked the first test and made the first test. I waited for a minute, while I was removing the sweat from my forehead- the test was ready.

Positive.

It cannot be true.

I reached for the next test, it was again positive and the another one as well. I could have used up the whole stock, but it had not changed anything.

I was wrong about defining my state. So far, I have only been in a shitty situation, but not I started to drown.

There is no way out of this, becouse I cannot go back. There…it is not possible and like this it is especially not.

I tried to escape from the shop as soon as possible, just like I could leave my problems all behind. But they were attached to me tightly.

I took two stairs, where I could at least see the sky and the sunset. I must stay here- as I decided right away. As I could not find a better option, I entered a clothing shop. I gathered some coats and tops, since nobody will use them anyway. It did concentrate on what kind of clothes I was gathering around, it is only for sleeping.

I huddled u pin the corner and I set my ’bed’. I almostlauged at myself- and I was ont he verge of mental breakdown, when I spotted that those clothes I was piling up were designer clothes one by one. How jelous I was of those women who could afford to buy these stuffs. How quickly the world changed in the blink of an eye. Yesterday, everything was all right and now I am a homeless pregnant,w ho is waiting for the next strike of the faith.

And I was still alive.

Still.


	3. Chapter 3

 

The city was far behind me and I was roaming in the nearby forest. The naked trees did not provide any shelter and I just couldn't cover up my footprints which became visible in the snow. The first two days went by without any action. It got a bit distressing that nothing happens. Of course, I did not fall for it.

 

If not the silencer, the frost kills me. I was shivering in my sleeping bag, but I could not set fire.

 

On the third day, I woke up for a terrible headache. My stomach was growling, like a wild animal. It was clearly a wakeup call for all my enemies.

And I had thought before that I will be okay without food for a week. Of course not...since nobody informed my abdomen nor my tenant about it.

_If I starve, my tenant does as well._

 

I tried not to think of it. There is no point in attaching to something that is not yours in the end.

Hunger was not the worst feeling that I had, thirst is much worse, worse than summer time. Empty bottles everywhere, but I had the other option, snow.

 

The temptation was great and I had moments that I stuffed it in my mouth till I entirely froze. I was worried about getting pneumonia if I continue this; it was very hard to stop. In these weak moments, I was just like a toddler, nothing close to a grown woman. I was very far from an sensible grown-up.

A sensible grown-up does not just fall in love with the enemy.

 

After a long march, I was getting out of the forest, when I spotted a little town.

It gave me a little headache.

Giving a chance to this place was far too dangerous, but I had no other chance, just like before.

 

It took me half a day to approach it.

Typical suburb area with boring and lifeless parts. If I manage to refill my ammunitions, I will have no word against this, after all.

 

The closer I got, the more paranoid I became and I was constantly ready to escape.

Houses were totally deserted and everything was covered with car wrecks. But it was still cleaner than a bigger city.

That was a bit disturbing. Of course, it is the best place to look for a shelter, because it attracts fewer visitors.

 

It was snowing heavily, which provided a better shelter than the clear sky, yet it was just perfect weather to be hunted down.

Almost night time and I still couldn't find any night shelter or food. I also suffered from strong headache and nausea.

 

I was so deep into desperation that I failed to see the person standing at the end of the street.

30 meters away from me, staring right at me in total silence.

 

I was constantly prepared till this point, but now I stood there empty-headed.

If I run, he kills me. If I stay, he kills me.

 

It cannot be a simple man, because in that way, he must be dead by now. I had no weapons in his hands. As I was thinking silently, he made a decision.

 

He set off towards me.

 

He was not particularly in a hurry, just took slow steps. His face was radiant from calmness, like he has nothing to lose.

 

Damn.

 

-Hi! -he said, when he was just some meters away from me.  
-Hi! -I replied inconveniently. Then he started to smile, which made things worse.

 

-What brought you here? -he looked at me with curious eyes. This is not the question I expected. It did not fit the situation.

I truly wanted to shout in his face. It is the end of the world and he is walking out here totally cool in a deserted residential community place. It did not match.

\- Don't you feel cold? - I replied. I did not even focus on the fact that he only wore a long-sleeved pullover. I took a look at him and started to shiver.

 

He started to laugh.

\- No way, this is the best weather ever.

 

\- If you say so - I noted. - I do not feel so warm.

\- Well...you can join me. We will be safe at my place and I can give you some food as well. You must be very hungry. But don't be afraid, I am a decent man.

 

_Yepp, looks like poor innocence._

As I carefully assessed my situation, I was sure that it was a trap. A man does not behave like this. They rather shoot a moving target, no matter it is friend or foe. It is easier to contemplate over a dead body.

He was too friendly, way too friendly. He did not convince me with that.

 

\- I do not even know my name. - I desperately tried to gain some time to come up with an idea, when I was blown away by his pleasant odour. It was nothing like a wild animal hiding and escaping. On the other hand, I was 100% stinky and dirty. In contrast, he was unexceptionally tidy.

\- Riley. Riley Turner - he answered.

 

Very attractive, like an angel on Earth. The melting snow tinted hid hair and his eyes were hazel-like - from the prettier type. I was wondering why it does not match. He has no weapon - okay, there are some who are capable of killing people without a gun. I saw it with my own eyes in Wonderland.

 

\- I am Hailey - I whispered.  
\- This is great! Now we know each other and you don't have to worry! - he kept trying.

 

He used such tone that it was more than clear that I do have to worry.

\- I might accept the invitation today, but I need to set off tomorrow.

This was rather begging than a clear statement of my intentions.

 

\- Of course, Hailey - he smiled at me. - I am very glad that I'll have somebody to talk to, because it was so boring alone. Nobody crossed my path for weeks - he complained, while we walked back to his 'shelter'.

 

\- You are lucky that I was around here.

I tried to relieve stress with my sense of humour, but it did not work well. I was too terrified and he took my words very seriously.

 

-Luck indeed. You cannot imagine how boring it is to be alone all day. I really like to have conversations and I am also good at listening. - he tried to convince me, while he was constantly keeping the eye contact.

\- Tell me something about yourself!

\- What are you interested in?

\- Just the usual things I would ask from every survivor - I answered in a wondering way. - How did you survive the attacks?

\- We are here! - He pointed to a house in front of us. He did not even hear my question and he also followed me tightly.

\- The door is open, just enter! - he ordered me and I obeyed.

 

As soon as we entered, he locked to door - and put the keys in his pocket as he invited me inside.

The fire was burning widely in the fireplace, but I was still shivering.

\- Sit down! - he pointed at the sofa.

\- Can I get some drink?  
\- Of course. What would you like to drink? - he used his kind and pleasant voice again, but I did not care at all. He locked me in his apartment and acted like a crazy. Maybe he was one.

\- The water will do, I know that there not much to choose these times - and you yet not answered my question. You said yourself that you liked to talk - I  reminded him.

\- Yeah, that's right! - he admitted and handed over a cup of water.

 

\- Get comfy Hailey, you can have no harm here!  
When saying out the last words, he started to smile like a psychopath. I did not dare to move even a little.

 

\- See how lame little lie it is? You can have no harm, everything will be okay. Only fools believe it, but everyone did.

 

\- Like I did...  
\- Yeah, you as well - he added.

 

\- How did I survive the attacks? - he asked back. - It was quite hard.

He started to get into a long story as he was walking up and down in the room.

\- It was hard to wake up and even harder to pretend that I am something that I am really not. But it was not hard to kill my family and everyone else, who survived the virus.

He was so objective, without any feelings in his voice, that I was horrified.

 

\- After I cleaned the area and everything became very boring. I did not have anything to do, but cleaning up those unfortunate ones, who crossed this area. But it is not enough.

 

\- How many people did you kill, Riley? - I asked reluctantly.  
\- I don't know exactly. After a certain amount, there is no point in counting - he answered happily.

\- Will you kill me as well?

\- Yeah - he answered without hesitation, then he sat next to me. - But not now. I want to know all your secrets first.

\- I may not want to answer every question - I whispered.

\- Don't worry, sooner or later, you will not be able to hide your secrets. I have my methods to make other people talk.  And we also have all the time of the world.

 

I started to cry like a child, which he accepted with a satisfied smile.

 

He was really like an angel. An angel from hell.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

I had no chance to fall asleep at all- at least that was what I thought, but I was wrong about this as well.

The scent of delicious food woke me up and I thought for a moment that I was at home – safe and sound.

\- Did you have a good night sleep Hailey?

My stomach twitched as I realized the truth that I am no longer in the camp and I am in no safe place. I really wanted to drown in the duvet, but it was an impossible death.

\- Of course Riley, everything is fine- I answered carefully. I’ve been enjoying his hospitality for two days constantly looking for the way out.

He was not ordinary cold-blooded murderer, because I’ve already seen many of them. I felt deep fear in my gut.

He acted like a schizophrenic. There was a gentle Riley, who provided me with comfort, food and clean clothes. He even prepared a hot tub for me and brought me some extra blanket to not to freeze. And there was the less pleasant one, who kept on nagging me. Sometimes harshly, sometimes more nicely. On the top of it, there was no way to get rid of his awful smile.

By the way, the knife…

My sole weapon was taken from me when we stumbled into one another, so I had no chance to cause any damage.

This was the topic of our very first debate.

I was just sitting on the couch and trying to figure out which Riley I was talking to, while he was examining the knife.

\- That is a neat bowie-knife. You cannot get this kind in a second-hand army shop- he made a remark. It definitely got onto thin ice.

\- Moreover…There is a name on it. It is engraved in the blade. Don’t you want talk a little bit about that?

Of course, I didn’t want to talk about this, let alone anything else, but I had no choice.

\- I got hold of this knife in the camp.

And I knew this information was not going to be enough.

\- You mean stealing? - He stepped in front of me, playing with my knife and continued his thoughts- No. I would never assume that a skinny little bird like you can steal from a _silencer_. I was shivering. He knew who the knife belonged to and I was still horrible at lying.   
\- I did not steal anything, Serena gave it to me.

I guess he didn’t expect this, so he froze and let go of the knife.  
\- I hate liars. Don’t try to test me!  
He got very angry, which made me more confused.

\- Ridley, believe me, I did not steel from Serena. She was my friend, my sole friend and she had given it as a present before leaving.

I reached the point, where there was no turn back. He slapped me out of knowhere and squeezed my throat with his right hand while holding the blade to my throat with his left.  
\- Don’t lie to me, you son of a bitch! Serena Ryden was one of the fiercest _Silencers_ and she hated human kind and would have killed you without any hesitation.  
I was shivering and angry az the same time. I knew he was not right and I never let anyone accuse those who are not even there to protect themselves.

\- You know nothing about Serena or me, you delusional piece of shit – I sputtered into his face. This made him more angry. He grabbed my hair and tossed me to the couch. I knew what he had been preparing for, since I kept a close eye on his movements, which told him to calm down and become fully-concentrated. I would be so happy to laugh in your face. _Just keep on trying, you fool._

I sensed that he would attack. He could not get into my mind, now he tries in another way. He was struggling for minutes, but there is no entrance ont hat wall. No door and no little hole to squeeze in.

Finally, he let go off me.

\- How can you lock me out?  
\- As everyone else. You are not the first who is trying vainly- I answered in a scratchy voice…his choking was somehow effective.  
\- It’s impossible. You cannot fool Wonderland, whatever you do.  
I saw that he just couldn’t let it go that sometimes cockroaches do win.

\- But that’s the case here. The program was a failure and Vosch could not break me, nor you- I started to worry a bit, because I shared too much with him.

\- Of course, if that’s the way…there will be a solution.- and his self-confident smile returned to his face.- This was the easiest way, but if it doesn’t work out, than plan B. I like it better than the other one.  
He was murmuring and fostering the knife with careful movements. I had no doubt that I would not be able to dodge his next move so easily.

\- Take off your clothes. – he shouted at me.  
I did not react. My brain stopped working. I was just unable to follow the order.

\- Now what? Move or I tear off the clothes from your body.  
His voice was full of bad intentions.

I was shivering so much that it was extremely difficult to peel off my clothes and when I got to the trousers, I started to cry. This was the most tragic thing that has ever happened to me. I did not even lay my eyes on him, but I knew he was very satisfied with the results.  
When I reached to my bra, he stopped me.  
\- Leave the pants on you. I have no desires in connection with you.

Before I realized what he was saying, he grabbed my arm and dragged me to upstairs. Into the bathtub.  
\- Stay here sweetheart, I will be back in a minute.

I curled up in the bathtub and I was trembling. I had no clothes to hide behind and the shame was eating me up.

As if he had felt it, he returned. His steps made a creaking sound, but he took it very slow. He was not hurried by time, it is only my enemy.

He entered the bathroom and closed the door. Not like anyone could have bothered him; it must have rather been a fixation from the past, where he had to hide his true identity.   
He wore only a tank top, nothing else, but it was more interesting what he was holding in his hands. A brown, average-looking suitcase, at least I thought it was one, till he revealed its secrets in front of me.

A bunch of argentous knife and scalpel.

I could only squeeze out a silent yowl- which he accepted by nodding. This was an average weekday for him, doing whatever he wants to.

Are you afraid Hailey? – he asked with his soft voice.  
I had no intention to answer. Somehow I trusted in that stupid human instinct that if I stay low, he won’t even notice me.

\- I asked something, sweetheart!- he growled at me and hit the bathtub with his fist.  
I took a glimpse at his malevolent look.  
\- Now I tell you the new rules. I hope you listen carefully and do not try to resist, ’cause I make you suffer for long, long time. Did you understand me?

-Yes- I whispered.  
-I don’t hear you.  
\- Yes Riley.

\- All right. You see it is not so complicated to follow the orders sweetheart – he whispered into my ears and sat down on the edge of the bathtub.  
\- What do you want from me Riley?  
\- Your secrets sweetheart, nothing else – he answered. – If you keep on giving me answers, there will be no problem. In case you resist or you try to lie…- he chuckled a bit- then I will try how I can deal with your pain limit.

\- Please Riley, don’t do this- I begged him repeatedly. There was no mercy in him or nothing human.  
\- Huss! Talk only, when you are asked.- he growled at me, but he returned to his nice self immediately. His smile is that I will never forget. He would have been too much even for Vosch.

\- Tell me something about how you end up in the shelter. – he gave his first command.  
I did not feel it dangerous to serve information about it, so I answered quickly.  
\- I grew up in a foster house and I had lived there till the beginning of the attacks.  
\- This is not enough. I want details!- he interrupted me.

\- I was born and lived in Lexington in the last 19 years. I never knew the identity of my parents. That foster house was my home, if I can call it that way.

\- It’s a nice start. We finally found the common voice – he murmured and grabbed my right hand and pushed it onto the wall of the bathtub.  
\- But, to not to be so bored, we need to throw a party.   
I could not squeeze out any word. I was gulping my tears and expected the gruesome next move.  
\- This is going to hurt a little and it will also be a bit painful process, but if you stay calm, there is gonna be no problem.   
Before I was able to say anything, I felt the cold blade lodging into my arm.

I felt how flesh was demounting from my bone and the red blood started to flow on the wall of the bathtub. I screamed from the pain and fear. However, I tried to rip myself off his grip.  
But I couldn’t. I tried to hit him hard, as much as I could, but he dodged it with sinking the scaple into me. It reached deeper than before. I screamed out loud, which he could not tolerate very well.

He was very satisfied till he could hold the position of gamemaster. When he was tossed out of it, then came the retribution. He threw the scaple in the corner of the room and hopped into the tub right next to me.  
_ Why do you have to be like this Hailey? Why can’t you act normal? Rules are so simple, yet you don’t keep them.

He emphasized his words with a slap. I barely saw anything because of the blood and I needed to puke because of the scent of blood. _I hope he kills me. I do not want this anymore…I want to die._  
God did not have time to deal with my issues that day. But I had Riley, the silencer. He was beating me up for several minutes and cursed as I was screaming in every moment.  
Then he started to calm down.

I was crying quietly, when he lifted me out of the tub and put me on the ground.  
\- Now, I help you with your wounds. Don’t be afraid, this is not the first time I do this. You will be all right.  
His nicer self was talking to me of course, but I was afraid of that one as well. I was afraid of the whole guy by himself.  
\- I don’t want you to die sweetie, not yet. You have to tell a lot of things- he whispered to my ears, while he was sterilizing the wounds and put bandage on them.  
\- All right. We will start it from the beginning tomorrow.

_But I didn’t want to continue, I didn’t even want to live._  
I objected silently, because I had no courage or strength to open my mouth.  
He carried me to my room and carefully put me on the bed and tucked me up. He acted as if I was his most precious treasure and not his toy.  
  
\- Sleep well Hailey, gather your strength for the next day – I got a kiss on my head and then he returned to his armchair and started to hum silently.  
  
I did not want to sleep, but I could not fight myself. I was too week and desperate.  
In my dreams, I was again in the foster house, where this all started.  



	5. Chapter 5

„Remembrance could be a dangerous trap since time heals nothing. Truly nothing.”

 

We heard the noise. I knew that they were coming. From above, I could see the military convoy with those ridiculous school buses roaming nearby. I didn’t know what would be better – to lie low and have faith in the impossible: that they might not come in here. Or to willingly give my life into their hands.

Then, I thought that there must be an intermediate solution. We wait inside, but no more hiding. I woke up the kids one after another. I didn’t understand why this wrangling had to occur in the middle of the night, but I couldn’t do anything against it.

When they kicked the door down and got inside, I got really insecure. I hated this helplessness and vulnerability.

I moved back and told the kids to sit down on the huge carpet, which was placed in the middle of the living room. Before that, I swiftly lighted some candles. It was gruesome to wait for fate deciding what to do with us in that half-light.

They’ll be here in seconds. I had a bad feeling, but there was no escape. _Even if I could run away, what about the others?_ They were just as frightened as me, although they could hardly understand anything of this. People came-and-went. If somebody got sick, I took him/her to a remote place, in order to stop the spread of disease. However, the dead still outnumbered the living. Most of them didn’t even get to live 8 years. Only they could remain in the institution, everybody else either left or died. I didn’t have the guts to leave them nor did I find a better shelter. The doors were strong and the walls were high. Still, we were running out of essential supplies like food and medicine.

They were already coming upstairs. I had no time to buckle up. The door opened, and the first thing I saw was the barrel of a machine gun directly pointing at us.

I swallowed and glanced at the children again. I put my finger to my lips as a remembrance of the fact that no matter what happens next we must stay quiet.

In full combat gear, with a helmet and a mask on, came our first guest.

We probably looked kind of surreal to them. Six children and their babysitter who herself was barely an adolescent.  

The first one was followed by a whole squad, and it immediately made me abandon my crazy ideas. I yielded and waited for them to make the first step.

My fellows were gossiping about the military collecting orphans and taking the survivors into refugee camps where is no sickness or starvation and everybody is safe. I suspected that we were about to be taken too, but I wanted to delay it for as long as I could.

My worries affected the kids and one of the little girls burst into tears. The tension could be cut with a knife, so I had to intervene.

\- Mandy, stop crying! – I goaded her.

I was afraid that my armoured friends were not fond of crying children.

\- Everything will be okay, these soldiers are only here to help – I said to her, but it was not very convincing even for me.

\- Am I right? Have you come to help? – I asked the soldier standing closest to us.

This finally broke the ice. He took off his mask and smiled.

\- Of course! – he replied immediately. He was a little too intense which he tried to compensate with a smile, but it just made it more bizarre.

\- I’m Corporal Branch – he introduced himself. – We want to secure the kids as soon as we can – he said with confidence.

\- Do you mean Wright Patterson? – I interrupted. I could see that he became uptight, and even though he tried to keep his smile on while remaining calm, the tension was growing between us. I had to change tactics. Mandy was still crying and all the frightened little faces were glazing towards me. It was me who they expected a solution from.

\- I’m sorry – I apologized blushing. – I was kind of impolite and I tend to talk too much.

I tried to rely on my feminine power, but I wasn’t sure if they could be deceived by this.

\- Nothing happened. However, it’s really strained out there and it would be better if we could take everyone into safety as soon as possible.

I couldn’t argue with that, although in my world, armoured soldiers didn’t mean the manifestation of safety.

\- Come on, kids! – I waved to the children. Exceptionally, all of them were ready to go. They probably had the jitters so much that even if I had told them to jump out of the window, they would do it without question.

They were following me one after another, while I was right behind Branch with Mandy in my arms.

We left the building quickly, but as soon as we reached the bus, I could feel that something was wrong. My paranoia made me think that my precious self could be the source of the problem. My fear was about to come true when Branch moved aside and started a deep conversation with one of his fellows.

\- Get on the bus! – I ordered the kids so that I gain some time.

In my mind, the not at all delightful scene was already clear where Branch takes me back into the building with some made-up excuse and shoots me in the head. That’s why I was trying to get rid of Mandy.

\- Go after the others! – I encouraged her.

\- I don’t want to go without you – she resisted. With one eye, I was still watching Branch who just started to walk back to us. We were running out of time.

\- Go ahead and get a seat for me too! – I winked at her with a partner-in-crime look. She always liked this.

When I saw her running up on the stairs, slowly disappearing from my sight, I got less anxious. It was better for her to be far away from me. She had a higher chance of survival this way.

\- Everybody is on board, sir – I informed Branch, even though he already knew this. – Look after them, please! – my voice shivered. I wanted to take a step back, then run straight into the house. However, I knew that if did that, they would fire at me immediately. I had no chance of running away and he was well aware of that.

\- Basically, the order is to transport the kids in the first place, because they are the most important. I assume, there’s no need for further explanation – he looked me in the eye. I didn’t like the way he was staring at me; like a predator at its prey.

I didn’t say a word, just nodded – I understood everything, maybe way too much.

Then, he continued.

\- But, in this case, we won’t follow the rule. There are no more stops, Wright Patterson, or Camp Haven as they call it today, is the final destination. The bus is almost empty, why would we leave you here?

He smiled again, and I tried not to notice the hidden ulterior motive. He put his arm around my shoulders and led me to the bus. This behaviour was not at all normal from a commissioned officer, but I was agreeable the game.

He searched for a seat for me up there, deliberately not close to my “adopted” children, then left me alone. Half a minute passed, the engine started and off we went. Somehow, the cathartic feeling of getting out of that lockup didn’t arrive. The past 19 years vanished behind me in a moment.

I didn’t want to start thinking. Not yet. I leaned against the window and tried to ignore the rattling of the bus.

I had no idea of where we were going. As for me, I had no trust in Camp Haven being a better place than the institution. Everything was so ridiculous and unnatural. Smiling soldiers. The constantly repeated “Everything will be alright”. Still, when they started handing out gummies was the oddest. They checked if anybody had a fever beforehand and I got a pretty red sigil from the guy who introduced himself as Parker. He avoided asking me about the gummies since he noticed that I was not sympathizing with the sugar daddies. Then, he left.

I was just staring into nothing and pricking up my ears. They were chattering about me for minutes and even glanced at me from time to time. The doctor in attendance – Parker, and of course, Corporal Branch.

\- I don’t think it was a good idea to bring that chick along – Parker turned his head in my direction. The other one just shrugged. – Maybe there won’t be a problem. She’ll keep her pretty mouth shut and do what she has to do. And if it’s not working, she’ll be shot anyways.

I froze at this point and had to force myself to stay still.

\- She’s quite a catch, it would have been a pity to leave her there – he continued.

\- You should have taken her somewhere behind the building, and when finished, you could have shut her up for good! – criticized Parker.

All of these were put like an everyday chit-chat about the match on the previous day.

_Breathe in! Breathe out!_ I ordered myself because I was on the verge of panicking.

I heard someone crying from one of the backseats. Then, Parker rushed to the back, passing me. I forced myself to look unconcerned. If they notice something, I’m dead. 

It didn’t take long to stop the crying, then I heard the fast-paced stomps of military boots on the ground. Unfortunately, he stopped right beside me. My hair covered my face as I let my head down. I was literally sitting like a bird on the seat. When he touched my shoulder, I shivered out of disgust that he immediately misconceived.

\- I didn’t want to scare you – he tried to ease the situation, and I decided to show my most charming side. That’s something even most kids in the institution are capable of if they are not spoiled yet. That typical slightly shy, slightly confused look with a bit of a smile.

\- It’s okay, I was just wondering a little – my voice was full of fake sweetness, but he fell for it.

\- Are you sure you don’t want a drink? – he asked again, because I rejected the offer the first time.

\- Well, maybe a little water if there’s any – I giggled.

\- Just a minute – he said and went to the front of the bus.

_Good dog, give your owner a high-five!_ I thought to myself. _Men are all the same… evenly pathetic._

He didn’t come back alone and to make it even better, they both sat down next to me.

\- We’ll stay with you if it’s not inconvenient to you – Parker gave me a full smile. The friend of this psycho briskly nodded to his words while he handed me the bottle of water.

\- I am not wasting your time, am I? – I asked faking the insecurity. I swiftly switched to a friendly style in order to be more convincing.

\- Oh, absolutely not! Camp Haven is the only place where we’ll stop so we have a little time to relax.

\- Glad to hear that – I replied with a grin. They were staring at me so disgustingly. As if I were a pig waiting to be butchered. Branch made it even worse with his next question.

\- Is it okay if we want to know more about you?

I glanced at him with confusion, although I was well aware of the situation. Things weren’t going as planned.

\- Did you have a boyfriend in the institution Hailey?

\- What? – I asked.

\- You know…a boyfriend. I mean, have you had a lot of dates?

He didn’t fool around for much time. But if he wants to play like this – I’ll give it to him.

\- Not really. I used to work in addition to school and looked after children when I had the time for that.

\- But there must have been somebody who you liked at least a little bit. Or somebody who fancied You – he insisted.

\- Don’t pester her! Girls don’t like talking about stuff like this – Parker tried to act like a gentleman, but that ship had already sailed.

\- To be honest, I haven’t found anyone who would have been perfect for me, but maybe this time I’ll have more opportunities to get to know somebody – I winked at him.

They began to laugh at my response while I was just smirking in silence.

_Think what you want to think. I would never need your company even if there were no other men on this damned planet._

\- We’ll arrive soon to Camp Haven and we have to gather the folks in advance – said Parker when they finally got up.

\- You’ll be given guidance inside – added Branch – But we’ll meet afterwards.

\- I hope so – I smiled. Then, as soon as they had gone away, that smile vanished from my face.

\- It’s only your funeral where I want to see you again – I murmured under my nose what they could not hear anymore.

The sun was already up when I finally caught a glimpse of the camp. From the distance, it looked much like a fortress. However, as we crossed numerous checkpoints, I had to realize, that the institution was just the beginning.

 

Waking up almost shocked me. One moment I was in Camp Haven the next in Riley’s bed – in reality. The monster mentioned was sleeping peacefully right next to me. However, it was just the outside. I was sure that he would wake up as soon as I make a move. And I had no intention of giving him another reason to hurt me.

I turned my back on him, and tried to fall asleep, but I was afraid of my dreams too. I didn’t want to relive the past few months. I wanted to forget, but they wouldn’t let me. The system wouldn’t let go of me.

I shattered when the bed springs squeaked, marking that my roommate had woken up. I didn’t dare to move when he got under my blanket and put his arm around my waist. Not long ago, it was somebody else who had done the same thing, but I hadn’t objected to it back then.

He, who was so far away from me as if he were on another planet.

There was nothing left except Riley and my fears. And, of course, the baby that I could not hide for eternity from him.

\- Are you awake? – he whispered into my ears. His breath was tickling my skin, while his closeness gave me a very nasty feeling all down my spine. Everything inside me was protesting against him, but I was paralyzed by the fear.

\- I just had a nightmare, but it’s over now.

I hoped that this would be enough explanation for him. I wanted a few hours without his sadistic self.

\- That’s so sweet – he let out a dark giggle. – People and their dull imaginations. They are afraid of the dark, afraid of nightmares. But they are not afraid of reality ant true monsters. They don’t even notice them.

I didn’t answer him, because extraordinarily, he was right this time. The fall of humanity was not due to aliens but to our blindness. Nobody had noticed the premonitory signs, only when it was too late. Or not even after that.

\- Sleep now, darling. Nothing can harm you here. Nobody can touch you…except me, of course. 

 


	6. Chapter 6

 

 

Three days passed without any news. Riley was in a particularly good mood and did not make a fuss about the night time wake up.

After breakfast, he headed to the kitchen and I followed him. I sat down by the windowsill and covered myself with a blanket as a followed his every move during the preparation of breakfast.

It was utterly unbelievable how well he could manage everything. He is the one who survives everything.

\- I’d like to continue your story from the point of getting into the camp.  
He turned to me unexpectedly.

\- Can I have a bath first? – please!- I added quickly.  
\- Of course, sweetheart. I prepare some warm bath for you – he answered in mild voice.

The bathroom was in an untouched condition. Riley confessed that he loved order and cleanness. It is true for him and for his environment as well- unluckily his mental balance was not so stable.  
He would have helped me with taking bath as well, but I did not ask for his contribution to this activity.

Finally, I was alone and I got into the tub. The warm water burnt my skin and the wounds hurt as well, but I enjoyed being clean. I was striving for that feeling. The feeling the my subconscious is getting rid of Riley.

I did not dare to relax long and I had some bad bathtub related memories as well.

I was planning to put on some dress quickly, when I spotted myself in the mirror.  
There was a gigantic mirror that made every part of body visible. I wanted to break into pieces. Not as if it had helped anything at all.

My condition became visible. Not too visible, just a little bump that was nowhere before. I could keep it as a secret so far, but now I cannot. Other women would scream from job, I would do it out of embarrassment. If Riley spots it – and he will, he will definitely take care of both of us. His aggression would be fuelled by this information.

I rapidly put the clothes on my body and truly hoped that the sweater I found will hind my little secret.

Two minutes later I was again in the kitchen and was about the get back to my little spot, when Riley unexpectedly attacked me.

In one moment, he was by the counter, in the next one he was next to me. He unwrapped my arm and started to scrutinize my wounds. He was quite satisfied. Then he started to touch my face.

\- I should not have done that…to hit your face as well.

I had no idea what to say and it seemed that he does not even require any answer. He pushed his facet o mine and touched my hair while smelling it a bit.

I felt great disgust when he did this. This was the biggest depth of my intimacy. It was way worse than last time when he made me undress myself in front of him. It would even have been better if he had hit me. He does not know anything about my memories and explicitly made fun of them…those that I insisted the most to.

\- You are very silent.

_Of course…I deeply in my thoughts about grabbing a knife from the table and stab you in the face…are you willing to die? Because I am not even sure that it’s going to be enough for you._

\- I was thinking about my life.  
\- That’s a wonderful topic, share it with me! – He returned to the other side of the counter in full excitement.

I had to fulfil his wishes. Just like in the tales of One thousand and One nights. If I can draw his attention, he might not hurt me during that time.

\- Could you get into the camp easily? – he jumped in the middle of the topic.  
\- There was no problem with it; I was already sitting on the bus.

I hated to contemplate on the past, but there was one thing I hated more, him poking me with a knife, so I rather talked. Luckily, he could not get into my head and that is a great tool to make some advantage.

\- I still don’t understand how you end up there. Do not misunderstand it, but you don’t look like a school girl.

I was waiting for these questions and this was exactly the point. He’s got the bait.

\- They never thought that I was a school girl. They had different plans with me…- My mouth was dry. These memories are too intense.  
\- More specifically?

I took a look at him. His hand stopped by a knife and did not move. His eyes were in flames and he so loved to feel the control over me. I had his full concentration.

-There are several types of desires in the world. Very different and underling desires – I whispers.  
\- I guess I understand it. Tell me more about how they welcomed you in the camp.

I liked the idea that he had the discreteness to avoid this question.

I set off my story.

 

 

*

 

 Camp Haven was like a smaller fortress.

Gigantic walls, wires, soldiers everywhere, not mentioning the drones. Not a soul could get in or out without noticing it. It did not make me happy at all. If I have not yet been locked much then I will be.

\- Come Hailey!- Parker tapped my shoulder. As soon as I got off, I was given a numbered tag. If I get a chip after this, I will be very happy about this whole thing…

T-67- I read out my number. This was me, a number in the crowd.  
I sat down among the kids and waited for my turn that was long way to go.  
_What the hell are they doing inside that takes so long?_

Finally, I was called. I entered the door with full of nerves.

It was just like an assembly line. Put off your clothes, take a shower. Luckily, they realized quickly that I need no help. Then came the inconvenience, millions of questions.

\- Where are you from? Do you have a family? Brothers or sisters?

When I reached the seventh question about my family, I got pissed off.

\- I have already told you that I have no one, never had. I grew up in a boneyard maintained for humans. I hope that the answer is satisfying for you.- I burst out. The caregiver made some faces, but I did not care at all. He was rude during the whole process, but he was stricken for a moment when he realized how old I am.

\- Age? 16-17? – he made some tips.

\- 19 rather.

\- Inform everyone about this during the following processes.

\- I will keep that in mind – I murmured silently as he walked me to the other room. There was really everything that gave me chills, but I had to pull it through. I was taught very early that everything is bearable unless you resist.

Finally I was escorted to the last room, where there was a dentist chair thing and a computer next to it on the top of the table. Well…this is the secret that you kept. Dental check-up. Oh, and there are the straps. In my case, they clearly need it.

Several years ago I had a severe toothache and my dearest nurturers took me to a not so kind doctor. The typical Hannibal Lecter feeling. There was a certain point when he pointed at my aching tooth with drill – without any painkiller. In that very moment, I did not only see stars, but the whole Milky Way, because of the pain I felt.

The only thing I could do was – since my shouting did not really have any effect – ’’Oh, it does not hurt at all.” I literally bit his hand.

He was swearing rigorously, but he let me go after all. After this incident, I could not really bring myself to like dentists and doctors in particular.

This situation was rather bizarre. As I took a look around, I started to have doubts about this ’treatment’.

There are no proper tools for that. _Then what is the computer for?_

\- Hailey! – I was called by a nice-toned stranger from the door.

I look up immediately.

It was a middle-aged nice woman. I nodded shyly.

\- My name is Dr.Pam- she welcomed me by offering her hand. It was a little bit odd of me, but I did not hesitate to shake hands with her.

\- I took a look at your file and I see that everything is all right with you. There is only one examination left and an additional test. Do not worry, they won’t hurt you at all, it will only be a bit uncomfortable.  
She could clearly tell that I got scared, so she did not hesitate to act, before I change my mind about the whole examination.

\- Take a seat here, please!- she pointed at the ’dentist chair’.

I almost got comfy when she stopped me.

-Please, tilt your head and do not move!  
\- What do you want to do?

My voice was not trembling, but I only needed a little to go nuts.

\- It’s just a chip that makes you identifiable.

\- And trackable…- I finished her sentence.  
\- Do not look at it like that. I raises your level of security.

Yeah, of course. It serves my best that people with guns can track me down. When I took a good look at the woman, I saw that her impression was not sincere at all. She might be smiling, but her eyes revealed her true intentions.

\- If it is necessary, I do not object. – I agreed and let her put a label on me. I felt a little pinch, but I did not care. I was rather bothered by why she wants to put straps on me.

\- Calm down. This is compulsory for the examination. I swear it won’t take more than some minutes and it is not going to be painful.  
\- But you strap me down…- I added.

\- It will actively affect your body and it’s better for your own sake, if you do not mive at all.  
\- Why do you need this examination?  
\- This is one of the conditions to stay here. This is how we filter out the infected ones. This program maps you. – She tried to keep her normal pitch, but she was visibly struggling.

\- Oh, I see. Then it’s okay. – I agreed, in spite of the fact that I did not understand anything.

She sat next to the computer and started to type. _Maybe this is the time she wants to enter the Matrix. 2 more minutes and my whole life will turn out to be a huge lie._ I was wondering, while she handled the computer in a more violent way.

\- How are we doing Dr. Pam?  
\- One more minute – she answered quickly. And I was just waiting…I closed my eyes and opened again- nothing happened. I started to feel myself more and more uncomfortable as I was strapped to the bed.

Finally, she pardoned me and let me go.

\- Is the examination ready or I am a UFO? – I asked adventurously. She did not want to get my humour, so she rather made a face.  
\- Everything was in order during the examination – she answered shortly. Now, there is a last test and then off you go.

I was very happy about hearing these words. I don’t think I could have tolerated more torture in this ratlab.  
\- Follow me.

I could not do anything else, then to follow her in the rabbit hole.  
We got in the lift and we took – only God knows how many- some floors till we reached the level she needed.   
The air was odd, but I was happy about having air at all. I have always been scared of going under, I just could not bear it.

Of course nobody cared about it now, especially not Dr.Pam.  
The corridor we took was full of soldiers. They barely laid an eye on us and then carried on doing their job.  
\- Do not stare and catch up.  
_Wow, it would be fairly hard to disappear here, but keep on giving orders…  
-_ Come this way – she pointed at a door and opened it. I do not know how she could make difference between the doors, because they did not even have numbers on them. But…she is at home, I am just a guest.

\- Sit down here! – She pointed at a chair next to a computer table. I did what she requested, then I looked at her inquiringly.

\- I will show you the true face of the enemy. – she said and started to type things in the computer, which enabled the wall in front of us visible.

I was extremely happy that I had sat down, because my brain suddenly stopped from the shock.   
I was prepared for everything, from little green aliens to E.T., but not for this.

\- This is a child. – I stammered quietly.  
\- Don’t let it deceive you. – She warned me and started to mess with a little device, which had raised my attention earlier when I entered the door.  
\- Look through this! – She tossed the lens towards me.

I was very uncertain about what to do. On the one hand, I was dying to know what they look like, the enemy, the conquerors. But there was an inner voice that did not let me go…this is not normal.

What I saw was gruesome. There was something attached to the brain of the little boy – that should not have been there. Just like a lame science fiction movie, but this was the reality. And the horror was not over yet.

Dr.Pam tossed another device towards me and her intentions were clear. She wanted to make me do that…she gave me the chance to choose. At least that is what I thought. If there is no way out then why would I do this? Why me?

\- I don’t kill this. – I stated firmly and pushed the butcher button away from me.  
\- But this is the enemy – she stroke back.  
\- Still no.  
\- They are responsible for the death of so many innocent people around the world.  
\- This is only a child, he’s not gonna hurt me. – I answered with a tired pitch.  
\- That is not a child, a specimen from an unknown civilization, our enemy!

\- You know what? I do not care if he is the alien or the predator. I do not kill children, this is not my style.

I finished the conversation, but Dr.Pam had a different idea about it.

\- We might have made a mistake in your case and you should be sitting there.  
\- Then court-martial me or get me shot down. As it is done in the army. I am no killer, I leave it to you.

I don’t know what made her hold back, but there was something…  
\- Okay, if I cannot convince you, I give up trying. You will definitely regret that you were this weak and it will only be your fault.  
I remained silent, because I had so many things to say, but I held it back.

\- I escort you back to the district, where you will work and live. I hope you won’t have any problem with it.  
\- I have no problem with working, my nails won’t fall off. – I got a bit more angry.   
\- Good. You will have plenty of things to do.

I had some concerns about my new workplace and I was wondering the way back to lift where I will end up. I followed her silently to the lift. She did not say a word and also avoided to keep eye contact with me. I was not her favourite candidate.

Somebody messaged her, which totally drew her attention and we almost missed the floor. She realized it in the very last moment.  
The door opened and we bumped into a smaller group of people.  
\- I beg your pardon Sir – she said and based on this I had the impression that the guy had a high rank. The colorful badges were lining on his uniform, but besides that, nothing special. He was a tall, handsome, middle-aged man. All the military leaders look like this. Just like rolling out of an assembly line.  
_Quick replanning. Whoever he is, do not cross his way Hailey._

\- Come this way, doctor. – he let us through.  
_Well…it seems that high rank goes with gallantry. What an exception.  
_ I followed Dr.Pam with my eyes.

When the lift closed, the doctor turned to me.  
\- So there is no respect in you, right?   
\- Why? I did not even say a word. What should I have done? To salute?

She grabbed my clothes. I got scared, because I did not suppose she has such strength.  
\- You have no idea about anything. You should be glad that you are here.  
\- Then please reveal it to me why I should have saluted and maybe next time I won’t commit such crime. – the irony was pouring out of me, while the doctor was totally neurotic.

\- Colonel Vosch, you brat. If you are unable to do anything else, keep this in mind – for your interest.

\- Of course, I will. – I just let that go. I did not understand why she was so concerned about this topic. I did not even address a word to him and of course I consumed some oxygen, which he might have needed in that little room, but…. _Sorry for being alive, fuck it._

Dr. Pam did not waste a word for me in the little time we had left, which was good for both of us.

We ended up in a cantine. _Oh, yeah, so I will be a kitchen slave._ I was passed down to a sick-looking guy, who introduced himself as captain Christopher Peterson. Technically he will be my superior. He did not have much to say, he only taught me the most important things I had to know.   
\- You start tomorrow at 5. The others will help you. You can find clothes and supplies in your accommodation. If you need anything, call me or your colleagues. And…that is all – he finished as he escorted me to my room.  
\- Hm…I have a question if you have time to answer…- I tried to be extremely well-mannered, which hit him unexpectedly.  
\- What is that?  
\- Can I get something to eat?  
This question hit him harder than the previous one and he needed some time to answer it.  
\- Of course, I bring the food. Don’t be afraid, you won’t starve here.  
_I don’t think he expexted such an ordinary wish or he might be a bit nervous type after all._

_He returned with a tray in some minutes, where I found some real food. He handed it over and said goodbye._  
  


He ran away, which froze me a bit, but my rumbling stomach pulled me back to the reality.  
I sat on my bed and happily started to eat up the canned soup. He was so cool that he also gave me a nice slice of bread.   
The world is really set back...a little can of soup can make my day, yeah… hunger is a great urge.

_I took a look around the room. It was rather a small shelter than a room, but there was a very comfy tiny bathroom with hot water and heating. I almost started to cry. When I lied down in the bed, I could not contain myself anymore. I started to cry.  
That was the only place in my solitude, where I dared to cry. I was not that emotional type, who cries all the time, especially not in front of others. In the institute this type of behaviour was not welcomed and I had a strange feeling that it won’t be tolerated here either._

_But this night was way too much for me as well. Something crossed my mind…the children and the little boy who they wanted to assassinate…by me._ _What could have happened to him? Dr. Pam killed him?_  


*

 

\- Seems like you are not that killer type, but you can adapt well – Riley established.  
\- Everyone fights for the survival.

\- Indeed- he agreed. He finished slicing meat, but he was so captivated by my story that he did not even started cooking.  
I got off from the windowsill and approached him, so the only thing that stood behind us was the counter.

\- I adapt well, but I do not kill children.   
He smiled and leaned a bit closer. I felt the tension in the air and I felt that he might change his mind and let his desires on me before finishing me.

\- Riley…

\- I am listening!  
I put my lips on his left cheek and stopped next to his ears. He shook a bit and waited for the next move..

\- I never kill kids…but you are not a kid anymore – I whispered in his ear and grabbed the knife that was placed on the counter, then stabbed him right between the ribs, where I thought his heart was.

 


End file.
